The men update

So, as previously mentioned A is, apparently, pretty much ready to start thinking about considering asking me round for dinner. I'm assuming this means he'll want to start our relationship up again but as he's so inscrutable I'm taking nothing as read. I think he may want to wait until we can have a proper relationship, i.e. one that he can conduct in front of his children without dreading the ammunition he's giving to the ex when they go home and tell her that daddy kissed their old sensei in his new flat.

Then I get real and think he's just happy as a pig in shit with no-one to think about but himself and the porn clips on his ipod. Who knows? Not me, and probably not him when it comes to it. Sometimes I credit that man with way too much thought capacity.

In the meantime O, the firefighting judoka from miles away, has stopped texting. Just like that. From the regular late night booty texts/calls, early morning 'hello gorgeous' messages and online contact that were all fantastic foreplay for when we planned to meet up, to complete radio silence. He got 'a bit gutted' when I said I was going for coffee with another date but seemed ok after I confirmed that if he and I clicked I'd stop dating other people. We chatted lots after that and he was fine, I was going to training tuesday evening so had to have the phone on silent, he was out for a drink with his mates, we texted late that evening and all was hunkydory. (I hate that word and don't know why the hell I just used it!)

Weds morning I get a 'good morning gorgeous', replied and got another back. My reply to that was unanswered but that's fine, daytimes are busy and I had my own stuff to do. Come thursday evening and no contact and I'm getting a bit weirded out (the firefighting thing isn't all washing cars and playing volleyball, after all) so send 'You're quiet today babe. Hope everythings ok xx'. And get nothing.

By Friday I'm a bit tired of this. I'm driving nearly two hours each way and having to arrange overnight childcare for this date of ours and I need to know it/he's worth the hassle, to be blunt. So I text 'Well I checked the news and your town hasn't had an earthquake so I'm guessing either your text fingers have fallen off or you pulled on your night out :-)'. And receive 'got a lot going on'. Which is progress in that it's a reply, even if it's not particularly illuminating. Plus, it proves that the personal ringtone I assigned him works, these things are important to me. Send a 'as long as you're ok' message and leave it at that till saturday when I was patiently trying to negotiate childcare with ex-husband and copped a sudden case of 'I've pratting well had enough of being pratted around by this prat but on the other hand his mother may be gravely ill or dying or something. I know, I'll check how compatible our star signs are!'

Yeah, I worry about myself sometimes too.

I then laugh so much at the compatibility thing that I simply have to share it with him, like this...

How much did I laugh when I read this today? Gemini woman meets her match in Saggitarius man. As her opposite sign there's a powerful attraction between them and he's her most exciting lover. Passionate and heroic, he leaps into her life bringing adventure in his wake but he can disappear just as fast.

Hope you're ok hun, if you want to cancel saturday just let me know, yeah? I won't boil your bunny !

It's now Sunday night/Monday morning and guess what? Yep, still sod all. Oh, but he's taken his profile off the dating site that we met through - which smacks more of 'lovesick' than 'mum's sick' to me.

Still, I had a nice call tonight from another A (who will have to be known as AA to avoid confusion). Seems very sweet, if a little obsessed by how much money he has. His profile intrigued me with its open mentions of his preference for older women and the fact that Kate Moss types leave him cold. I just had to get to know him to find out if he was looking for a BBW to feed and turn into a mother replacement or if he really was a man that simply appreciated those women among us that aren't airbrushed.

And I have a date for coffee tomorrow with L. Who still calls me Tinks and thinks I'm 'a bit mad' cos I said I'd be the one in Costa Coffee wearing a ballgown and reading Combat magazine. Or maybe it was when I mailed him my mobile number and said calls cost £1.80 per minute and will appear on your phone bill in a plain brown envelope.

That's not mad, that's the frustrated comedy writer in me finding an audience. Mad is what men make me when they don't JUST FUCKING COME OUT AND SAY WHAT THEY MEAN!!! And then whinge when they discover I've moved on without waiting around for them to come out of their silent, moody phase.

Wish me luck with L! (I'm not really wearing a ballgown. My wedding dress is much more figure-flattering)