A is for arsehole

While I'm having a whinge, I'll update the A situation. He's still on emotional death mode and radio silence so we only connect when we teach together and I do miss our friendship and silly, gossipy texts (the sex was shite even tho he has a face and body that makes me drench me drawers).

Anyway, we had a guy turn up to his karate class last week, we'd already started and the etiquette for being late is that you stand at the side in ready stance until bowed in by a Sensei. He isn't a regular student but is wearing a gi under a hi-visibility vest so, assuming he's embarrassed at being late for a class and wanting to put him at ease, I carry on teaching with A and keep an eye out for when newcomer is ready to join in.

Said eye is stunned to see him take a variety of small objects from his carrier bag and arrange them carefully on a table, then put some of them back in the bag and repeat the process at least four times. Meanwhile, one of the students is desperately trying to catch the eye that I don't have on the newcomer so I go over to him and he frantically whispers that he knows this bloke from work. His work is a co-op charity affair that employs adults with learning disabilities so the penny drops and I figure he's just here to watch our student train so they can chat about karate on their breaks. As if my life could ever be that easy!

The newcomer keeps wandering about the place, every now and then approaching a student and pointing at their belt if it had come slightly undone. I look around for A cos it's his class and I know he hates when I pull rank and make him feel stupid, he's hiding at the other end of the room so I patiently and politely tell newcomer that I'll sort my own students out and he must sit on the side if he's to remain in the dojo during a class.

We call a water break and go over to the desk to sort paperwork. A is still on 'can't cope' mode so I do the figures and, as I'm totting up, the newcomer approaches us and says something none of us understand. We look at each other confused as he holds out two old-fashioned cameras and says, much more loudly, ' TAKE ONE!' After a good minute or so of 'no thanks, mate', 'we're not allowed to accept gifts' etc., he plonks them on the desk and walks away, stopping only to re-tie the belt of one of our younger students before tipping him upside down. The lad was in fits of giggles so I assumed he also knew this guy and it was just me out of the loop.

A called for the students to get padded up for sparring and they partnered up in two rows. There was an odd number so one of us had to jump in and, as A was padded up and ready before I could even blink (again, tucked away at the far end of the room) I had to take supervisory position. I mentally note that newcomer is engrossed in his pattern making activity again as I tell the class what I want them to practice during the session and call 'hajime!' I still don't know how he managed it but fuck me, the second I set them towards each other, newcomer strides across the room and right between the advancing students!

A, the bastard, deliberately ignores the situation - I have no such luxury. Newcomer is both learning disabled and black but fuck it, I've gone way beyond the realms of political correctness by this point; my students are getting nervous so my training kicks in. I shout 'Yame!' at the top of my voice to call an immediate halt to the controlled violence I had only just instigated and power towards newcomer with my hands in a fence/wedge position and my eyes full of hunters intent. I hear a strong voice say 'Get back over there and stay there or I'll put you outside!' and realise it comes from me, much smaller and less muscled than newcomer but far more scary at that point. A says and does nothing to back me up, newcomer returns to the side of the room and I restart the class as if nothing has happened whilst quietly marvelling at how I'm controlling my automatic adrenalin dump. A mother comes upstairs after class finished and aggressively asks what went on cos her daughter recounted the events in a rather over-dramatic fashion upon being collected. A gets his tongue-stud in a knot so I talk to her and she goes away, appearing satisified with my assurances.

The following day I get an early call from our Sensei asking me to explain what went on as there's been complaints to every member of the hierachy from the parent of a 19yo student and A isn't answering his phone. I've enthusiastically sucked his balls so I know they're small but ffs he does possess a set! Not only did he leave me to sort the situation at the time, he now dumps the official explaining onto me and it's not even my fucking class!

I lose respect for men way too easily, I know this. I've tried really hard to accept that showing some weakness is human rather than a sacking offence but I can't help it, this episode has finally killed anything I felt for A. I forgave his being married and waited for him to sort his head out even tho it meant I wasn't getting any sexual or emotional contact, I was willing to put up with him being a crap shag who I had to fake orgasms for (knowing that praise and education are wonderful things), jeez, I actually read up on the best ways to work with a smaller-than-average cock that came prematurely even when wrapped in the thickest possible condom to try and make it work . I toiled my tits off for this relationship!

Obviously I was mad to do so cos I've finally realised that he's not the man I want to be with and fuck wildly for forever, he's just an arsehole.

With a small dick.

Git.