Guess who's coming to dinner?

Mad week!

Tuesday - my last night of training and also a surprise grading so we had a really hard session as opposed to the nice easy evening I'd anticipated. A had told me he'd call in after dropping his kids off but didn't, no big shock there. I lost count of how many times I heard 'Ange! You'll be seeing A, won't ya? Send him my best/give him this card' and just smiled through exhausted, gritted teeth.

Wednesday - the final night for students so we instructors got together to do some mucking about and showing off as a treat. I gained a headache from laughing so hard at our violent version of the twelve days of christmas and a massively ugly bruise on my wrist from breaking tiles but it was worth it to see the faces of those that thought I was just a flighty, blonde girly girl with high kicks! Short and sweet I may be but I can indeed hit and break real things if and when the call comes and I enjoyed showing that part of me.

Thursday - the club christmas night out and this time I wasn't driving (not that I could have, I was wearing a corset and the bones were digging in something rotten!). We had a fabulous night with loads to drink, a lovely chinese meal, a few awards given out and absolute screams of laughter, they're a fantastic bunch of people.

Our designated driver missed my turnoff so, instead of being first home I was near to last. Just after 1am as we're dropping off and laughing my phone goes with a text and I squint to read 'Have a happy xmas darlin XXX', from P! From drunken conversations that night my karate mates knew all about him so I was getting input ranging from 'let's all go round and kick him' to 'answer, if nothing else he's worth another fuck'. I decided to go my usual route of sarcasm and asked if he'd been drinking and texted the wrong person. After a few back and forth texts I got home and he immediately called me. Being full of christmas spirits I didn't hold back on my opinions and he was very apologetic, saying how much he'd missed me and begging me to come and see him the next day. I said I was busy (which was true) but might be able to make some time on Saturday.

Friday - he texted again from his works do then called for another chat to check I was still coming round. I'd had a drink by then and, when I heard he had no plans for christmas day, invited him to mine.

Saturday - Busy! An emotionally intense catch-up meeting with sis to update me on her visit to our mother as well as christmas preparations that had to be done while the kids were with their dad but P was playing on my mind so I found the time to pop round.

I'd texted to say I was on my way and there was a cuppa waiting on the table when I got there. Not that it was good enough for this fussy bitch of course, due to said cuppa being made of regular tea with milk in rather than the green tea with lemon that I live on- Bing! One point down already. I sat on the sofa like a maiden aunt, none of my usual feet tucked underneath me stuff. My body language was positively screaming ice. cold. bitch. which, of course, made the mad cat come and sit on my lap. We chatted and caught up and yes, I melted a little, mentioning the timing of christmas dinner as I was leaving. He seemed surprised and said he hadn't brought it up in case I'd changed my mind. Nnngg! Why don't people understand that I don't say things unless I mean them, even if I'm in the depths of drink!? I'd still made no moves towards him but he kissed me goodbye as I got in the car and stood watching for ages as I tried to pull into the road.

Sunday - aka Christmas Eve. Bloody bonkers busy and I didn't hear from him all day, nor did I have time to even text hello amidst last-minute shopping for forgotten stuffing mix/replacement fairy light bulbs and attempts to calm children by delegating very boring household chores. I finally sat down with a brandy and blogs sometime after midnight when my phone buzzed with a message...

'I've decided to spend xmas day with [the cat], it was lovely to see you again, enjoy your day with the kids xxx'. Offs! I really can't be doing with this on/off crap so I text back 'Are you taking the piss? Do the world a favour and buy yourself some serious therapy for christmas, eh?'. Stockings stuffed and spleen vented I finally got to bed. Alone again, naturally.