Friday, January 26

Rash behaviour

Day before Very Important Meeting:

Ensure all details have been emailed to the appropriate people.

Double check all travel arrangements.

Squeeze in a quick sunbed session in order not to look quite so deathly pale.

Spend enjoyable hour or so in bathroom with girly lotions and potions.

Retire to bed early(ish) instate of relaxed, refreshed anticipation.


Morning of Very Important Meeting:

Wake up early

Discover strange never-happened-before rash everywhere that de-fuzz cream has been.

Scream. Rant. Stamp feet.

Search for a fragrance that gives the right impression whilst covering smell of Efortyfuckingfive cream!

14 comments:

Midnight said...

Ahh prior preparation and planning is so important, but sounds like it went Pete Tong this time! Us guys have it SO easy I think.

Hope the meeting goes well, will we get to read the minutes?

Helibags said...

Hey FB,

DO NOT USE E45 CREAM - it is devil spawn. Trust me, as a rash prone person use aqueous cream (available in a big pot from Boots). It's much nicer and kinder (smells better) and can be used everywhere all the time. Throw out all other moisturisers and just use this!!

MM is right - guys have it so much easier. Lol!!

Hope all goes well.
(How is the non-smoking going??)

Hxx

Vi said...

Typical! Try diprobase! (says she of experiences of childrens rashes)

Lady in red said...

lol my prescription of the day ....any thing to do with skin I swear by aloe vera cream or lotion

Joanna Cake said...

I have to echo lady in red... aloe vera has been instrumental in soothing and getting rid pronto of the red, battered scrumpox chin i receive when enthusiastically snogging man with 3-day stubble. Im just such a sucker for his unkempt look. However, for eczema and other related conditions, I swear by Epaderm - a heavy duty aqueous gunk which has worked wonders on my son and was recommended by a nurse who uses it successfully on bedsores. Available without prescription for all chemists.

Anonymous said...

FB, I had a very similar experience recently before meeting someone for the first time. I was in a panic about what he would think when he saw the hideous rash... and frankly, he didn't give a hoot. Of course not... ridiculous of us to worry so much about these minor things. Men do indeed have it easier.

Aloe Vera, eh? I'll try it!

Mummy said...

ow and damned inconvenient

Angela-la-la said...

Blimey, this comments box looks like a pharmacy wholesale order!

Thanks for all the suggestions, it's mostly gone now. Heli - Day 10 of not smoking and other than a slight crave in the pub last night, still doing ok.

Midnight said...

Off course I'm right Heli, I'm a man!

Ooh well done you FB for making ten days, keep up the good work and no relapsing now you've got through the hardest part!

Annie said...

Oh no, typical. But surely your clothes would cover most of it? Or was it not a clothed kind of meeting?

Anonymous said...

Deep Heat on bollocks.
Quite possibly the most disturbing pain on the planet.

Miss Tickle said...

Oonce when I was eight I spent an enjoyable hour or so following the "Nature's Beauty" recommendations of a girl's magazine (Hi! - genius). Some cucumbers, teabags, lemon and beer later I couldn't go to school. For two days.

Angela-la-la said...

That sounds more like lunch than cosmetics to me.

(Is your finger better now?)

HKMGB said...

Sounds like you could do with a ciggy.