Real mums piss themselves laughing

And sneezing. And coughing. And running. And all the exercises in the world are useless if the sneeze or cough hits you before your clench reaction kicks in. Ladies, you simply have to keep practicing these things (try this to make it less of a chore!). It needs to become a reflex.

Which is not all bad what with the clench being so good for your sex life, especially when you're too knackered for a full on session with the man who actually caused your pelvic floor to need a damp-proof membrane. If you can clench it hard and rhythmically enough you need not move your arse at all to bring him off, roll him off then get some sleep before the baby takes his place pawing at your boobs.

If you never quite got into the 'riding the elevator' at traffic lights habit then fear not. There are now an array of female incontinence aids that you can just pop in with your weekly groceries without embarrassment. Seriously, this is the one that Tena call 'discreet'...


So discreet that no-one in the supermarket will ever notice that you need a whole extra trolley for a weeks supply!

With thanks to Emma, my mucky minded martini loving mummy mate for the tag (bitch!)

I'm tagging OG, Vi, and LiR (I know I'm meant to tag five but I can't think of any other mums on my blogroll!) Basically you write a blog post on a deep dark truth about mums. Start with Real Moms [insert the deep dark truth here] and add a picture.