The bad news...
Is that my kids may well scupper my plans. Or be the death of me, whichever comes first.
No 1 Son. Taking GCSEs. He's behind in coursework due to lazy first drafts and, not content with being one of the brightest and the undisputed King of the one-liner, suddenly felt the need to become the hardest kid in the school. To the extent that, under the guise of sticking up for a smaller kid, he head-butted a peer, necessitating an emergency dental appointment for peer and a three day temporary exclusion plus a day in the sin bin for the son I no longer recognise.
During our discussion about this I also brought up the fact that he was being a moody git at home whilst the rest of us (well, me, his dad and Bing anyway) were being utmostly respectful of his situation and asking nothing of him except whether he needed anything typing up. His answer was that he'd quite enjoyed being a bastard for a while. Ten begrudgingly given points for honesty and self-awareness...
He's taken some exams already but the bulk of them are yet to come. This situation isn't going away anytime soon.
I should probably order some valium.
Babyboy is taking his options. He's also taking a lot of unauthorised time away from school and a lot of nicotine into his not quite 14 year old lungs. Having allowed him the freedom to find his own style and personality I now wish I'd insisted on cutting that emo fringe into a nice tidy short back 'n' sides and forced him to show me his iPod daily so I could replace anything remotely resembling grunge with some nice christian rock.
As usual I had to play both good and bad cop so I said I wouldn't tell his dad about the smoking as long as he stopped immediately but he was still grounded indefinitely for truanting. Two days later, when I got a call to say a teacher had pulled him and two monosyllabic mates out of the town centre and into school at 11am, I put him on poop scoop duty - adding that if he bunked off again not only would the dog would be going on a curry diet but I'd be joining her on it and shitting in the garden every day.
He says he's been smoking for about a year which, in my mind, ties in with when he found about the court case.
I thought I'd got the kids feelings about that shit sorted out, even before my own. I was obviously wrong.
I should probably order some extra Venlafaxine.
Babygirl is taking the piss. She's fast approaching 12 and the arrival of her first period. Which is good, if coming on means she'll calm the fuck down. But not good in the meantime as she rides the hormonal rollercoaster of uncontrollable emotions and I worry my tits off in case she snaps and carries out one of her oft-screamed threats of running away and/or suicide or I snap and assist her in the process.
I'm now getting complaints from the school and other parents as her behaviour deteriorates outside the home as well as in it.
And I'm thinking of taking time to start up a small business?
I should probably order some viagra. I'm gonna get well and truly fucked.
12 comments:
You better put orders in for me when my boys reach that ages. arrrggghhhh! NOT looking forward to it!
I don't know if this will comfort you, but they grow up (about 17/18) to be lovely again.
Keep your pecker up!
you will get sick of hearing its all part of growing up and they will grow out of it but hey there just words.
as my very own teenage years were turbulent all i can say is keep talking to your kids about the matter because sooner or later they will let it out and better now than later.
dont forget they are under immense stress right now so go easy in a hard way.
plus a glass of wine a night helps.
well said monkey, keep talking to them, you will laugh about it in a few years, you may want to cry write now, they are all getting there characters and personalitys, i know my spelling mings, my daughter is 17 in a few weeks, I understand the stress, buy a german army helmet and threaten to wear when you collect them from school.
Tell me about it. I could have written this post! We've got Daughter (16) back for half term, alternately snarling and in floods of tears, Son (19) only emerging from his pit when darkness falls and he needs pizza. Daughter taken up smoking on the sly, Son with not a hope in hell of getting his A-levels (equivalent) unless he pulls his finger out now....
I'm beginning to sound like my parents!
fookin hell ange, reading that's better than a 12 pack-o condoms !
Just hang in there - stick to your guns and er, fook, I have no idea !
good luck tho, sure you're doing a waaaaaaaay better job than I could or would or should
Oi! How'd you get a pic of me as a baby then????
Don't be too hard on No1 son, it's a tough world out there and you have to stand up for yourself. He'll calm down when he meets a good woman!
I second the glass of wine option!
And, yes, much like the Terrible Twos, the teenage hell years will one day be a distant memeory.
In the spirit of unity, I suggest a large bottle of brandy and two telephones. I shall call you when I return from my brief therapeutic interlude.
Aw, bless you!
As others have said, I can appreciate all in this post. In my case it is a 7yr old of the species who is currently on a "red card" at school due to deteriation of behaviour - although as with your No 1 son, is honest enough to tell me its because you get better treats when you have been naughty and then be good!
The other, a late developer at 14 going on 15 (and fortunately possessing little of his mother or sisters shouting and stressing temperament), is however falling "in love" within about an hour of "meeting" friends of friends online, only for Hollyoaks drama to result in a week later dumping and on to the next one!
Seems you may have to bulk buy all those mother prescription requirements - you'd make a fortune on here alone!
Hang in there - at least you only have 7 years to go! I realised the other day I will have teenagers in my house for 14yrs straight! Aaaargh!!
Ooops - kinda hijacked your comments box! Sorry x
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