You alright?

No, I'm half left. Hahaha! What about you, how's your relationship/work/childcare/diet/affair problem going? Last I heard was...

And so they talk
And so I mute
my other half.

Because the other half; the half that's really all there is left, is the boring, whinging, not very nice, useless, depressed half. The half that I know needs a voice more often but is so easily gagged because it's neither use nor ornament to anyone outside it's half-self. The half that's only ever acknowledged, even to those few that care to dig their heels in for it, with self-deprecation; a Barbara Windsor giggle and the phrase 'Oh my gawd don't ask, I'm getting on my own tits lately!' immediately before I turn the conversation to them. Foolproof. Works every time. They always love to talk about them.

Perhaps, if they shut up for a while, I could listen to my other half. Unlikely. So I carry on taking all it's self-harming, self-neglecting, unloved and unfucked* little stabs and I stem the bleeding by asking everyone 'You alright?'.

And then, really listening to the answer.



*Of course any woman blessed with girly bits can always find someone to fuck them but even my low self-esteem has gone past the stage of sleeping with more than one other woman's husband at a time.