Tuesday, July 8

Dirty dog

I could start this two ways, so I will.

1 - I really do love my dog, but...

2 - Could've been worse; what if your dog...

I can only finish in one way, however. This being, the way of truth.

Dog saunters through the french doors as No 1 Son and I are watching a skyplussed Last King of Scotland and bickering over who is the true pack leader. Dog walks directly to me and licks my hand. I guffaw towards No 1 Son, relishing my imminent victory.

Dog turns around and arranges all 6 stones of herself to flomp at my feet. I loudly claim myself as pack leader and obvious canine favourite, my proclamations only interrupted as I realise...

...she's left a great big skidmark of shit down my right shin.

Gross - dog
Grosser - dog shit
Grossest - dog shit on human leg

6 comments:

Fat Controller said...

Cheers, I was just about to go and have my breakfast! Still, a good laugh first thing in the morning sets you up for the day!!!!

Trixie said...

Eeeewww!! Luckily I havent seen ANY dog shit from the Husky I've been looking after the past week... but I've still got to venture out into the back garden. Think I may get his owner to do that when she pics him up today!

Luka said...

Isn't this usually when someone proclaims that "that means they like you!"?

monkey said...

it could be worse, you could smell it all day and not know where it is. continuosly looking at the bottom of your shoe and hands and yet never finding it.

Joanna Cake said...

Noooooooooo! LMAO x

Unknown said...

Earthling...
When our eternal soul
leaves our mortal body
to meet our Maker,
only four, last things remain:
death, judgement, Heaven or Hell
according to the deeds WEE mortals
accomplished in our expired existence.

⬆️I'm a re-boot NDE⬇️
If you're RIGHT,
you'll see LIGHT -
follow that to the Elysian Fields.
Let's be tethered2forever Upstairs.

Find-out what RCIA means and join.
Make Your Choice -SAW

⚠️DO NOT⚠️take the Mark of the Beast;
otherwise, we'll be in two, different eternities.
trustNjesus!