Touched by la fille

Oops! I meant tagged. Sorry, my fantasy took over for a second there. LFM has tagged me to come up with ten things I love that start with the letter K.

1 - My kids. Considering I never actually wanted children and will never win any mother of the year competitions, I remain totally shocked at the strength of love I have for my babies. No job, man, race or tournament has ever brought me the challenge, sheer hard work, heartache, responsibility, joy, strength, pride or love that motherhood has. It's them that made me strong. Once I knew I'd kill and/or die for them, I realised I had to make myself strong enough to do so in case the need arose. In that way, I owe my life to them.

2 - Karate, of course! I'll try not to get all evangelical on your arses but really, everyone should do it! The feeling as you get better is such a buzz. Your kicks get higher and stronger, your punches and elbow strikes quicker and more instinctively aimed, your blocks more flowing and harder to penetrate. Performing kata is like mental masturbation and sparring is like sex with clothes on. What more do you need to know!? Go look up your best, local Sensei and tell 'em I sent you!

3 - Knickers. I went through a phase of not wearing any but the draw of a good pair of drawers proved too much. I love my lacy, sexy ones with matching bra, camisole or baby-doll top. I love my clingy boy-shorts that don't show under tight trousers. I love the flimsy thongs that are hardly there and so easily pulled to one side in steamy moments. I love the giggly thrill of an edible pair being bitten off me. I even love the lycra Bridget Jones specials types that I wear for training so I can kick all over the place without them losing their place. I admit it, I'm just a pantie ho.

4 - Kickin' tunes. A good night out with mates just isn't complete until the DJ plays something that makes you throw your drink down, end all conversation and lose yourself in music. The beat calls to you, compelling you on some deep, subconscious level to move your body to it's rhythm. There simply is no resisting; it's like hypnosis, only louder.

5 - Kinkiness. I'm sure none of you need an explanation for this one! A psychologist once explained to me that sex is the adult version of a childs play. I love to play, it's fun, it's bonding, it's silly when looked at in the cold light of day and it's incredibly sexy. Pass the feathers!

6 - Knowledge. My gemini personality thrives on communication and part of that is knowing a little about a lot. I love coming across something new and researching it, soaking up the key points and teaching myself to talk a good 'un! Unfortunately I'm much better at teaching myself stuff than being taught, hence my lack of formal qualifications.

7 - Killer heels. I'm a girly girl so of course I love all shoes in general but shoes, boots or sandals with 3-4" heels are the best thing ever for those of us that never grew over 5'2". I wear them to the supermarket to reach the back of the middle shelves, I wear them to the pub to be seen over the bar and get served when it's my round, I wear them to school meetings and get slightly less dwarfed by the 11 year olds, I wear them so that jeans designed for 'normal' height women don't drag on the floor and trip me up, I wear them in the bedroom and fantasise that, not only are my legs as bendy as a porn star's, they're just as long. Oh, and you know that thing that people tell you about heels being bad for your back? It's counteracted by them being damn good for your neck when you're kissing a tall bloke!

8 - Kissing. We grow up with kissing. As babies and toddlers we delight in the reaction we get when we learn to plant our wet babylips on a beloved adult's cheek and watch them melt (if only cos it means a happy adult equals our basic needs being met). As we get older it's more a case of 'give your (ancient, smells of piss not quite covered with lavender water) auntie a kiss goodbye' which is a hideous notion to us but still, it makes her happy which is always good for a quid or two as she puts her coat on. And on we grow. The adolescent years, completely drenched in snogging. Talking about it, thinking about it, angsting about it, whether or not we're doing it. Our twenties? For most people they're more about shagging than snogging so the blissful kisses get lost as we struggle to define ourselves as sexual beings. For those of us that married too young they were wasted years, more devoted to coping than kissing. Our thirties? Oh. My. God. Is there anything in this world more erotic than a deep, sensual, 30-something kiss? I don't think so. This really is something you enjoy as a teen but don't appreciate until later in life. I could kiss for hours, me - lovely stuff!

9 - kbs. And all the other acronyms to do with computers, which is a crafty way of saying I love computers. When I was a kid I saw a Tomorrows World type programme that showed a computer controlled house and I wanted one immediately. I still have to open and close my curtains manually but other than that I pretty much run my life from my pc. My extensive music collection is stored on it and hooked up to my amp, my diary pops up reminders to aid my terrible memory, I shop, bank and help with homework online. Not forgetting, of course, I meet new mates and men - kissable kilobytes!

10 - I'm struggling now. Hmm. Ok, K T Tunstall. I really like her stuff, I sing Universe and U to my kids. Anyone know when she's doing another album?

That got tough towards the end! I'm tagging anyone that needs twenty minutes to themselves over the holiday. Hide from the family and do this with a letter of your own choosing. Aren't I good to you?