Two couples and a camera...

"Hi, is that Angela?"

"Yep, who's calling?"

"It's Paul, Julie R gave me your number. I've got a bit of a computer problem and need it sorting quick cos I can't get to my work stuff, to use her words she said you were shit hot at this crap! *laughs*"

"Well then, hello. Can you specify your problem to me? Has it been nicked? Cos, you know, that's a computer problem but not one I can do anything about"

"Yeah, she said you was a funny cow an' all. Basically it takes forever to turn on, some things won't work at all and the ones that do are slow. A bit like Julie! Ha ha!"

"Hmm. Can't think why she never told me that you were funny... Look, gimme your address and I can give you a couple of hours later today"



Julie is mad sweet on this bloke. Julie is a mad sweet girl all round, actually. Julie deserves to be happy, she's done her share of shit. I love Julie. Oh, and...

I FOUND PICTURES OF HER BOYFRIEND INVOLVED IN A FOURSOME ON HIS HARD DRIVE AND I DON'T KNOW WHETHER SHE KNOWS OR NOT!

Don't get me wrong, she's neither virgin nor nun herself but the thing is I don't know whether he's told her about his prior shenanigans so that she can make sure to protect herself in whichever way she feels necessary (there's not a condom to be seen in the pictures I found) or whether she'd truly thank me for telling her the reality of where he's been (and obviously enjoyed!).

For a start it's not the stuff of carefully lit and edited porn, it's real and involves non-surgically enhanced people over the age of 35. Part of me wants to tell her this so she stops worrying that she's not sexy/slim/young enough for him (nice as he may be, he's no Adonis!) and another part wants to hide my brain in a cupboard and never again have to think of him as a sexual being.

The other thing is, I honestly don't go looking for this stuff when I sort out peoples computers but how the fuck do I make that sound like the truth to Julie now? I know full well she has some juicy pics on her hdd but didn't begin to think of searching for them when I dealt with her infestations of virii and spyware. How the fuck can I expect her to believe that I respected her privacy when I've come across these not very well hidden, numerically named files?

Ok, it's become clear to me as I type: I simply can't tell her. Not ever. Not if I want to retain her friendship, which I do.

Surely, getting pissed and dancing in the street singing a very old song word for word but out of tune can never be the same once you've seen your mate's boyfriend with a raging hard on? Even if that hard on is obscured by some random female's arse cheeks or a middle aged husband and wife tongue duo (she had more tattoos than he did which I found, er, interesting...)