Time for an Angieplan

I'm sitting here at twenty past late on a school night totally, completely and utterly alone. And, not only that...


Sorry, gimme a second, would ya?

...this is just the first of eight nights/seven days of it! Absolute Angieness. No sis on the phone for validation/marriage counselling, no ex-husband ringing or texting for spurious reasons and nobody to make me cringe when they call 'Muu-uum' as two, really whiny syllables. Just me, myself and I, unless I choose otherwise, for a whole fucking week! Oh yes, let joy be unconfined, let loose her stays and air them puppies!

Strangely enough (or not, if you've read anything about my weirdly dysfunctional family) this has come about due to my sister's ongoing bond with my ex-husband. Eight years post-divorce, he still manages to charm everyone but me into wondering how on earth I could be so fussy as to leave and devastate such a funny, warm, caring, loving man. I'm not about to justify myself here or anywhere else, I could and I did and that's all that matters. So there.

Anyway, brother-in-law loves surfing to the extent that he's done a week in the same place in Cornwall twice a year with his fire brigade mates for over a decade come strike, birthday or overdraft. When he and sis (the pisces water-baby that she is) got together he added a third week, this time as a fragmented, second family type group.

Her lads loved it, as did she. Over the years the group grew to include his parents, his sister (who lives next door to them) and her family until a conversation at christmas led to them inviting my ex to bring our children. There was a small amount of 'you two get on ok, why don't you come too, Ange?' until my look of doom was noticed and they hastily continued with plan A.

So I get to have a plan A too, an Angieplan.

1 - Tonight, a fresh bottle of brandy and the knowledge that I can sleep as deeply as I want and lie in tomorrow. Nice start. Blissful, in fact.

2 - Immaculate* my house knowing it will stay like it! Well, only until they come back with their washing and half a beach in their cases but still, it'll be lovely to return from training tonight and not feel like I've walked into a disaster area.


3 - Join my lovely mate Vi for the traditional village festival of 'ladies wot lunch'. This quaint, weekly custom involves the women of Blah gathering to line their stomachs with a little local food before proceeding to drink the pubs dry till they fall over. Never one to miss a chance to celebrate my femininity, I'll be getting up early enough to be there by midday.

4 - Involves me getting brave enough to venture into the loft even though it freaks me out and has a birds nest somewhere so I can put a load of gear on eBay and make some cash. This may or may not happen.

5 - Tidy the garden gym, reclaim my freeweights from under No 1 Son's bed and get back onto a proper exercise regime outside of karate. This weight gain is getting ridiculous, to the point I'm actually considering a visit to the GP for a thyroid function test. Or a stomach staple.

6 - Properly learn the two kata I need for black belt. I can muddle through them but that's not good enough for me and although the test is a way off yet I like to be prepared.

7 - Make an effort to talk to people who message me on my dating site before dismissing them because of spelling errors or facile opening lines. Even if they are mostly in their twenties.



* I know it's not a verb but I like saying it like that, so there.