Someone elses mum
The first parent consultation evening of Babygirl's secondary school career. I try desperately not to spluttercoughchoke as I hear how keen she is to help with tidying, then quickly scout around for my stern face when I'm told she's top of the form - for negative notes on the e-behaviour system.
After that we loiter, waiting to be fitted in for a slot with the history teacher we missed our appointment for. Babygirl spies a peer and they do that screamy, huggy thing that young girls do when they've only been in contact by text message for the last two hours. I glance over to mates mum for a shared eye-rolling experience but instead, receive a sharp look and hear "Ah, so you're her mum!"
"Oops, what's she done now?" I ask, wry smile at the ready.
"Oh she's lovely, it's you that drives me mad, all I ever bloody hear is you, you, you"
"Er..."
She mimics a whiny teenage voice, "You're boring. Why can't you be funny and silly like babygirl's mum? I need a haircut, babygirl's mum has cut hers so the layers fall properly even without straighteners, why can't you do that? Babygirl's mum does karate, she kicked some bloke in the head then showed us..."
"But.."
"You're embarrassing. Babygirl's mum isn't a teaching assistant/dinner lady, she does floristing* and you should see what she makes with balloons"
"Yeah, but..."
"This computer is rubbish, Babygirl's mum fixes computers, why don't you ask her to come round and..."
I floundered, my fixed smile more apologetic than wry, and it occurred to me that I should have felt fucking fantastic from such feedback. That, had anyone I knew had the same conversation, I'd be screaming at them to accept the compliment and float on it toward whatever plane they chose to direct their wonderful selves to next.
Me? I took in the light (really light, not orange) tan, perfectly made up face, manicured nails, tall, gym honed body and fashionably well fitted outfit of this other 11 year old girls mum and thought...
Be great or look great. Maybe I made the wrong choice when it comes to feeling great.
*Babygirl has never quite learned the word 'floristry' and, as someone that regularly makes up words to suit her own purpose, I'm happy to use her version.
7 comments:
How am I not surprised to hear that your fabulous reputation precedes you? ;)
Just your babygirl's way of affirming that you are a cool mum.
Just show's you how proud babygirl IS of you!!!!!
*slaps Angie*
And you KNOW why!!!!
I would have loved to know that my daughter and her friends said similar things about me but sadly I can do none of the things listed as being part of your repertoire. You rock Mrs x
Nice to hear you are setting the benchmark for 'cool mum status'!
Ah yes - Essex Mums. I know them well...having recently been the only mum in the changing room without a 'How I got my Tiffany ring' story to tell, I can sympathise.
And you managed to piss one off without even opening your mouth. I am very, very impressed! You could have closed the deal by giving her your business card, and asking her to give you a call if she wanted her computer fixing?
It's sometimes good to know that the ability to look immaculate does not equate to happiness.
How could it be otherwise.....Angie you are a woman to be admired by everyone
LiR
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