Bollocks. On a spiky stick.

Grading went well, all my students passed.

Then Sensei, he of the newness but niceness and technical brillness, gathers everyone to announce that he's leaving the post.

I come home to a fridge full of lovely things to barbecue and eat together in the sunshine.

Then Babyboy, he of the groundedness for naughtiness, didn't get home on time for dinner after ostensibly walking the dog. For three hours.

I was informed that the internet had been dead since early afternoon and all standard turn off and on again things had been attempted to no avail.

Then I rang a very expensive helpline to talk to a man that sounded exactly like the internet providings man from Fonejacker, only to discover that the problem was my wireless router throwing a random wobbly and allowing local network traffic but blocking the WAN.

I finally started the assignment that's due in tomorrow.

Then me, me of the dippy bintness, reached for a pen and knocked a whole glass of brandy and coke over two mobile phones and my lappy, not to mention the rest of the coffee table, both my feet and the carpet.

Buggerybollockingbastards, batman!