More men stuff

Weds morning: Still no mail from L and I'm fairly indifferent about having a 'relationship' with him but I have to admit that I did really enjoy our date and can't help but fantasise about how good it would be to sit astride him on a chair , looking up at him with my big blue eyes and burying my tongue deep into his mouth while I fuck him and feel his fabulously sexy hands on my tits. He has such damn horny hands and I blame Girl for the current fixation with said appendages that's now overtaken even the undertaker I mentioned in my comment.

Also Weds morning: All three kids (ok, and me) forget to put the rubbish/recycling out. Again. I sleep late cos I was up till nearly 6am drinking to celebrate my grading whilst typing up No 1 Son's coursework as promised. Oh yeah, then bully wanking three orgasms. It was damn late but this woman has needs.

Therefore, I hereby apologise to the binman that lost out on the 'will the blonde with big tits chase us up the road wearing a) that short pink nightie or b) some variation of pink pj bottoms and a vest that shows her headlights on chilly mornings' bet this week.

Note: If the loser happens to be bald with a wide, boyish grin and reading this; gimme a knock next week and I'll make it up to you... You have a head just crying out to have my hands pushing it deeper between my legs.

Weds daytime: Boring boiler fixing stuff going on in between flirty chats with my landlord. It's a crying shame he's married (and she's lovely, we get on great) cos he's exactly my type. A fair bit older than me and really lived a life but sexier with age and experience.

I spent a long time feeling bad about my penchant for older men, thinking it was some kind of sick attempt to recreate my earliest, abusive sexual experiences. Since then I've come to realise that I simply love men that have lived a bit and have something to say for themselves, men that I don't have to 'look after' and don't make me feel like I have another child to be responsible for - and you don't get many of them in their 30's. Of course it helps that men a generation above me tend to find my curvy shape and earthy personality extremely horny!

Weds evening: Mad dash to the supermarket with 2 of 3 kids, few disagreements with No 1 Son who wants to buy the sort of stuff that Gordon fucking Ramsey uses and I can't afford which starts us off on another game of who can show the other one up the most in public? In the cereals aisle I, rather loudly, asked him if he wanted a catering sized box of Shreddies to help with his constipation problem; he came back in the feminine hygiene aisle with a '150 Extra Large Tampax, again?! You only bought them last month, woman!', even louder. He won that round, as well as a few more female fans that giggled at him then looked at their own sullen children with sad, rolling eyes. Ladies, fret not. Much like that husband of your friend that you wish you'd married first, he's not perfect when you live with him all the time! Back home to prepare for a Body Shop at Home party that I'd been convinced to hold by a sort-of-mate cos she's just started doing it and needs the bookings.

If anything brought home to me just how few female friends I have, this was it. I invited all the women I know, from my sister's in laws through to the mums of the kids I teach at karate. All people that I thought would be desperate to see the inside of my house if nothing else. Who turned up? My ever loving sister, of course, and one other! They spent the evening checking out the blokes that were interested in me on my dating sites, laughing at my inability to be serious during my makeover and watching me drink all the wine I'd bought cos they were both driving so needed all the coke I'd normally put in my brandy. Still, all party-planners need to learn to cope with low volume evenings (except me of course, when I did Ann Summers parties people would knock and ask to be let in cos they heard the noise!) so I like to think I helped her out in some small way.

I've lost the plot a bit whilst updating this draft so I'll just add that I mailed L to thank him for the lunch and say I hoped the man-flu wasn't making him feel the need to buy the batch of summer wear he'd been offered. Cos I'm polite, like that.