Friday, October 27

Keys to P's

The ex-husband was due to have the kids for the day, an extra bonus for all concerned that comes about due to school half term holiday and his day off from his anti-social hours job. He’d called the house the previous night while I was at karate training (actually I was acquiring a large internal bruise on my instep at the time from delivering a head high round kick to a much taller, higher grade which I’m rather bloody proud of, being a short-arse!) and said he’d be round at 10.30.

Knowing, as I do after all these years, that his version of time is somewhat tardis-like, I worked on anytime past 11am and, when he finally turned up – having had a guilt-inducing call from his daughter - at gone midday, jokingly said he’d have to keep the kids till midnight.

He laughed, wearing an obviously new shirt that he probably imagined made him look taller, slimmer and less of a prat than he is. No shirt on this green earth has this kind of power but he’s yet to learn, bless.

As soon as he realised this would work in my favour cos I had yet another date with P he stopped laughing and started the old ‘Yeah, I’m going out tonight too, the kids will be home early cos I have to be in the pub by eight’ shit. I’ve sat in on my own for hours and hours before now; waiting for him to bring them back, unable to leave the house in case they turned up any minute. This time tho, I refused to rise to the bait and merely made sure that at least one of the boys had their keys on them so they could get indoors to eat what I was planning to go shopping for whenever he deigned to drop them off. That fucked his ‘I’ll make her want me again, you just see’ plans up slightly!

I wish he’d meet someone else, I really do. It’s been seven years since I left him for someone else yet, as the true Scorpio that he is, he keeps on hanging in there trying to exploit every moment of stress or weakness that he perceives me to have in order to get back to the status quo and my bed. doG only knows why, I was a totally mental bitch when I was with him ffs! I had flashbacks of the childhood abuse during sex (not that he knew *sigh*), hated men in a really nasty, passive-aggressive fashion and suffered terrible post-natal depression. Oh, and lived solely on plain chocolate digestive biscuits which didn’t help my weight or my notoriously sensitive skin. I simply could not have been an attractive sight under any lighting, which confirms to me that he only ever wanted the power he gained in his head from keeping me barefoot and pregnant.

Anyway, I went round to P’s and as soon as he opened the door I went into ‘auto-relax’ mode. It’s the first time I’d actually noticed this effect but, thinking about it, its part of the massive attraction. No matter what is going on in my life; be it single parent stress, late night drinking guilt, having my step-father arrested and charged with 3, very ugly counts of law-breaking after 30 years, none of it matters when he says ‘hello, missus’, puts his arms round me and leans down a foot or so to kiss me. And he knows all this shit cos we’ve talked about it, something else I’ve never done with any man before him.

So when later in the evening we snuggled on the sofa, chatting whilst half-watching Alan Partridge repeats and he said ‘I’ll get you a set of keys cut so you can just let yourself in whenever you like’, I didn’t bat an eyelid.

This has been Fussy Bitch with the emotion report. Coming up after the break...

the sex entry!

Stay tuned. (Is it Ctrl and D for 'add to favorites?', I'm a firefox girl so I can never remember!)

1 comment:

Angela-la-la said...

Hello darlin'!

I blame P for the Alan Partidge repeats cos I'd much rather have music on but he's addicted to UKTV Gold.

I did manage to watch/sing along with X-factor while I cleaned his PC of the vicious spyware he caught whilst surfing porn and he cooked dinner on sunday but he was back on old comedies as soon as it was over... it's one of the perils of loving older men, sadly ;o)