Wednesday, December 6

The things kids say

This evening, 5pm

Me, driving - I need to have a serious chat with you later on, babe. Nothing you've done so don't worry but will you be free of homework/mates phoning/watching the history channel when I finish training?

No 1 Son - No problem, is it about the thing? Y'know, with Nan and all that?

Me - Yeah, I wanted to keep it from you cos it's not pleasant but you're not stupid so I think you deserve to know a bit of what's going on and why.

No 1 Son - I know.

Me - Yeah, it's not that I'm keeping you in the dark it's just that it's adult stuff and I want you to be a kid of your age and all that.

No 1 Son - No, mum. I know. All of it. I know that grandad abused you and Auntie when you were kids, I know about the five grand, I know about everything.

Me, barely controlling car - How the fuck do you know that? Who's been talking to you about my business behind my back?!

No 1 Son - No-one. I read your blog.


Shit. Shit. Shit. And this is on top of all the other crap I was meant to be clearing out!

7 comments:

Annie said...

Oh my god! I would've driven off the road.

Your kids sound lovely though. Very grown up.

Vi said...

Holy shit!!!!!!!!

My 8yo lurks around my laptop.

*Note to self - close down blogs while I'm not there!*

Anonymous said...

Good crapping hell - how phenomenally revealing, and how maternally awkward.
I am lost for words and can only offer some kind of literary hug of sorts.

Still...

y'know.

Seren said...

At least he told you!

I can't stop laughing!

No, really. I have tears rolling down my face at this one. And I thought tonight no one was going to top Joie and her road rage.

Your son is classic. Be proud, very proud! He's obviously a good kid. Afterall, you haven't moved it yet!

Mummy said...

OMG!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! I am actually speechless. He sounds like a very together young man tho!! wowee -- im nervous for you! i can always change ur blog url for you if u like, i am expert at that !!

Ordinary Girl said...

Lol FB. Do you know though, I think we're more phased than they are!!! Kids just accept, you know.

Angela-la-la said...

Thanks, guys. I know I would say this cos I'm his mum but he really is the most together kid of 15 that I know. He got his dad's good looks and my brains so I should have known that hiding my bookmarks a few folders deep wouldn't be enough to keep out Mr Gifted and Talented!

Fwengebaby, I'm traumatised here! Just what does a girl have to go through to get a literary shag ffs! ;-)