Monday, May 7

Artful dodger

Babyboy is an aspie type, somewhere on the autism spectrum that my particular health authority refuse to quantify because it would cost money in the education sector. It's ok, middy; I'm not drunk enough to go all ranty and political tonight, this is just a scene setting paragraph to explain why this is so special to me.

Aspies/autistics don't deal with personal contact in the way most of us do so, when babyboy establishes a new routine that involves snuggling with me I take it as a major blessing. We used to sit and watch casualty on the sofa together but that's died out as he's got older. He'll be a teen in a few weeks, I'd resigned myself to losing that last physical link we had and researched other ways to keep close to him without freaking him out.

My inner child stamps her foot and screams at me that loving, non-sexualised physical contact was sorely missing for her and is absolutely neccessary for shedloads of reasons. I hug and kiss No 1 Son and babygirl every day to make inner child feel better but I sense that babyboy is not comfortable with it even though he needs it so I rein in the touchy-feely parent I've become and wait for him to come to me.

I came back from a - very rare - whole night away from my children and slipped back into normal, albeit hungover, mode. As dinner comes to an end I feel my hand being led to the sofa and sit where I'm directed as babyboy takes a place beside me. I tuck my legs under myself as is my wont, he settles into a place very close to me. I stroke his face the way I know he can cope with and, not that he'd admit it, enjoys. I feel something soft and stroky on my ankle and think "Yes!' This is progress, this is him trying to return physical contact to make someone else feel good. Finally, he's showing that he can empathise!"


Er, no. He was being artistic with a permanent marker. Comme ci.



It's still there right now. Slightly faded from exfoliator scrubbing and many applications of waterproof mascara remover but there, all the same.

12 comments:

Bittersweet said...

aah - a lovely post, and such a cool finish!

Vi said...

That's a pretty cool tatt!!!! Maybe that's what he'll do as an adult!

Frank Marcopolos said...

muchos kudos!

Peach said...

yeah, that's cool - keep it !

Midnight said...

Nothing wrong with expressing views on politics (especially policies that impact upon your family) Angie, just debate is best done sober ;)

Anonymous said...

cool drawing though! i know a kid with aspergers, used to be really into casualty too....wonder why...she prefers top gear now though..

Angela-la-la said...

A madly strenuous tuesday night training session and the shower after means it's finally gone. The memory, however, will never fade...

Babyboy, I love you deeply for being hard work; for not being bland or ordinary or conformist. I love that you wait for the world to take you on your terms and couldn't give a flying rubbery fuck about those that can't or won't.

You're not special needs, you're just fucking special. I know you hate this but, just in case you read it in the future, I'd like to confirm that I mean what I tell you when we're being silly together...

Mummy loves you to all twelvety six ends of the earth and is so proud of you that she could kiss your very eyeballs then eat her own arse without ketchup. So there.

xx

MommyHeadache said...

Wow Angela. Great post. You are such a brilliant mum and I think I love babyboy too!

Anonymous said...

I could never eat my own arse without ketchup.

(Still reading occasionally, even if I'm not blogging :) )

Peach said...

aw you're so sweet - you sound like you have a wicked relationship

Ariel said...

You need someone with a needle and some indelible ink... this would make one awesome tattoo!

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, and this was the other one ... I think I have just commented in the wrong order, that's all.