Wednesday, April 30

I don't bite...

...well, not unless you pay more. Haha!

This is one of my favourite jokes for putting people at ease during overly emotional or stressful situations. I have cupboard-lots of similar, situation specific lines stored away in my head and they never fail to make people feel better. I talk a good 'un and never deliberately tongue-lash anyone in need.

So why do I still, apparently, permanently scar anyone close to me the very moment any truth slips through my lips?

I appear to be, despite my best efforts, surrounded by people that take offence as easily as they take air into their lungs. It's a subconscious action on their part but it still makes my conscious stab at me for being a bitch to those less fortunate.

My part-time but long-term ex used to tell me I thought myself omnipotent and everyone else weak because it meant I didn't have to put anyone else in control. At the time it was hard for me to respect his insight, being that he'd take to his bed at the least hint of my having any opinion on anything, let alone an alternate to his.

When I see how fast people still fold and play victim under the gentlest of my critiques, I can finally understand that he was right. No-one else deserves to be in control, not even of my refuse collection, if they're not strong enough to cope with me expressing myself.

Which leaves me where, exactly?

Cos it's damn fucking lonely being omnipotent and having no-one to really, honestly, talk to.

6 comments:

Vi said...

You have one of those really rare british things... a WICKED sense of honest humour, and you use it in all situations. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to take it!

You've got 31 days of May to tell us what you want, warts and all!

Mr Farty said...

To those people who say, "I've never been so insulted in my life", it's very hard biting your tongue instead of telling them they should get out more. Innit?

Ariel said...

Which leaves you where exactly? Towering above those weakling critics, that's where. Some people cannot handle strong personalities - that's their problem, not yours. Don't change a thing, and if you cannot bite, just growl. It is surprisingly effective.

Joanna Cake said...

I think it comes with the territory that you cannot 'tell the truth' to those closest to you because instead of just saying it, you try to dress it up more politely and it all gets misinterpreted as a result. It doesnt help that our nearest and dearest seem to be genetically programmed to respond in a negative manner whatever is said, however nicely.

And I dont believe you're always right but Im still doing as Im told and attempting to blog every day in May...

Vi said...

OI!!!! What happened to your 1st may post you slacker!!!!

Angela-la-la said...

Patience, woman - I was publishing as you commented!

Having started the thing I could hardly get away with falling at the first hurdle, could I? :)