Friday, October 10

Goodnight Saigon

I dunno, I feel like I should blog, feel like I owe some sign of life to my online friends whose blogs I still follow if not comment on, feel like there's something left, unfinished, not quite ended properly here at angela-la-land. But. At the same time, I don't feel it's real. Annoyed by the use of 'but' as a whole sentence? Confused? Think yourself lucky, if you were me you would be. Both. Twice over.

But you're not me! What a relief! Let's sing it together!
And it's hi-ho silver lining,
and away you go now baby,
I see your sun is shining,
and I won't make a fuss,
though it's obvious
!

I'm going to kill FussyBitch. Drown her stupid, self-obsessed self in her own 'I know you may comment that I'm living through hell but really, I'm fine, just you see - ooh, look! There's a silver lining over yonder' polly-fucking-anna-ness. Suffocation by optimism seems, to me, to be a fitting end for such a closet depressive pessimist.

Fussy Bitch is neither fussy nor bitchy enough for me anymore. She bores me with her hedge betting, her justifications, her apologies and her bland, lying to herself posts.

Conversely, she's also far too public and gently honest for those that know and purport to love me, she can't tell her truth anymore, tainted as it is by the knowledge that some readers will react to it in her life. That way, passive-aggressiveness lies. I absolutely refuse to go there.

If needs be, I'll find somewhere else to put my mental vomit, somewhere it can neither hurt nor influence those that touch the real Angela (surname changed).

Until then, goodnight saigon and thanks for all the fish.

x

56 comments:

Miss Tickle said...

Darling lady I was thinking of you only yesterday. I am sorry to hear of your demise, and hope you'll keep in touch. The reason I was thinking of you was because I was missing you.

Incidentally, I think breaking free of a blog persona is a very healthy thing. You are moving to the next stage. Like in a computer game. In the next stage you will be able to use all of the special powers you have gained here.

Lots and lots of love to you. xxx

Meesha said...

Glad to hear that this is a positive step. I will miss your posts!

monkey said...

you have been a pleasure to read and follow, take care fussy and please come back soon with somethin new. xx

Dazza said...

Yeah, see you soon... wherever that may be.

Daren
(in Riga, Latvia)
xx

Fat Controller said...

I was very sorry to read this, but the most important thing is that you are true to yourself.

I hope you won't be a total stranger from now on.

Trixie said...

Can't say I didn't see it coming. You will be missed my dear, keep in touch and let me know if you appear elsewhere. xxx

having my cake said...

^^^
Wot they all said... And I will come and find you if you dont! x

fwengebola said...

What the fuck???
Mind you, I thought you'd been quiet. Please keep appearing on mine. I'm not going anywhere yet.

Peach said...

oooh wondered what was going on

big hugs and see you again in RL! XX

Ariel said...

I have been wondering the same about my own blog - the name alludes to a transition that is nowhere complete, perhaps not even in progress so the whole thing may want renaming soon. Not killing though. Please do e-mail with your new blogging details. x

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