Solitaire

Bill Gates knew what he was doing when he integrated this game into windows. I've never been a card player despite my East End roots but lately even I can lose myself, engrossed in using a spade to dig for a diamond, placing blacks on reds and just gagging for the opportunity to free up a stack and lay a king.

When you're running a one minute mental mile just to slide backwards slightly slower and trying to look like a duck at the same time (oh you know, all calm on top with any leg flailing carefully hidden just under the surface), when all the cunty little things in life join forces and become more than the sum of their parts, turning into one absolutely fucking huge, monster sized, fire-breathing beast with many massive and extremely sharp fangs, when every new day just brings another sledgehammer or six to join the band of carpenters in your head that attempt irony as they bang 'we've only just begun' on every synapse and serotonin uptaker you possess.

When all around you are keeping their heads because you are losing yours silently..?

That's really playing solitaire.